If you’ve lived in the Amazon for some time you probably think that Cougar Dating is sharing a saucer of milk with a large carnivorous and furry mammal.
But to the rest of the world, Cougar Dating refers to a human woman between the ages of 35 and 55 who enjoys the company of younger men.
How much younger? That’s a point for debate.
The consensus seems to be that the man must be at least 10 years younger than the woman.
That is unless the woman is over 60. Then its generally thought that the man must be at least 15 years younger than the woman.
A Cougar is usually characterized by these traits:
Self Confidence – Older women have been around the block a couple of times, and feel much more experienced than their young men. This can be a breath of fresh air for younger guys used to dealing with insecure or emotionally difficult women of their own age.
Financial Independence – Cougars can be very generous with their partners which can make them extremely appealing to younger men who are craving financially independent women – including women who will pay for the date, and who tend to be very generous in other ways.
Sexual Prime – Cougar women tend to be in their sexual prime and many stay in shape with an exercise program. This gives them stamina which they also expect of their male partners.
Adventure – Cougars seek out younger men for fun and excitement. Younger men can be less jaded by life than older men, and not so focused on being a provider.
Some Cougars also enjoy the aspect of being something of a mentor to their younger men. They have more experience and wisdom and are more mature and easier to get along with than younger women.
Younger men are often shocked at the real age of Cougars which can be a huge turn on for them because they believe that the older woman can teach them things they couldn’t possibly get from a younger, less experienced woman.
Types Of Cougars
Wealthy Cougar – Cougars with money will never ask the younger man to pay for anything. They enjoy picking up the tab and consider it a badge of honor. The wealthy Cougar will show you a good time and it won’t cost you a penny. This can be another huge turn on for younger men struggling to come up with date money.
Married Cougar – the Married Cougar usually has a husband at home who no longer satisfies her. She needs to inject a little excitement and danger back into her life so she looks for a younger man. She’s not necessarily interested in a relationship, but don’t think she won’t want a little romance. While the spark may be gone from her marriage, she’s looking to recover or experience what she might have missed during her years of captivity.
Motherly Cougar – the Motherly Cougar is primarily looking for a young buck she can take under her wing and mentor. She believes she’s got the experience and that this is finally her opportunity to mold an unsuspecting buck into her perfect image of a man.
Vixen Cougar – the Vixen Cougar is primarily interested in one thing…sex…and the more the better. She changes partners faster than a Ferrari in a frog jumping contest. If you make it past the first night, life with the Vixen Cougar can be exhausting.
Control Freak Cougar – these Cougars demand that they call all the shots and enjoy being in charge. They feel plenty superior to their young male charges and take every opportunity to control them. For a young man in need of some discipline, this could be just the ticket.
Can It Work Out?
Kathryn Elliott, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette explains that the main element in making these kind of relationships work is to match what she calls ‘Voltages’ between the partners, “Choose someone who is your Voltage type — has the same level of intensity about life. If the Voltages are different, one becomes the pursuer and one the distancer. This can create pain. What you don’t want is one partner wanting to go out, the other stay in – one willing to talk, the other wanting space [and so on].”
That said, society has a definite stigma against dating outside your age group.
An older man out with a younger woman is either considered a dirty old man or a victim of a woman out for his money, while an older woman out with a younger man is thought to be ‘robbing the cradle’.
Double standards aside, get ready for a healthy dose of scorn and negative comments from friends and relatives if you decide to date outside your age group.
One woman put it this way, “I think it’s disgusting. Young men should be with girls their own age.”
That said, it seems the only real thing keeping society from accepting these relationships is reluctance on the part of the participants to come forward for fear of what society will think of them.
Cougar Dating is Gaining Popularity
The practice of cougar dating is gaining in popularity however. More people are giving it a try, fueled in part by celebrity pairings like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (a man 14 years her junior) as well as the great success these pairings have enjoyed.
One man commented, “I know from experience that it can work. When I was 24 I dated a 41 year old woman whom I met through friends. We dated for about six months and during that time became very close.”
So whether or not Cougar dating is a passing fad or here to stay, it’s safe to say that the days when a simple saucer of milk would please a Cougar are long gone.