Kissing: To Kiss Or Not To Kiss

Nine years ago, I thought I was never going to have to contemplate this question again. I was a new bride and ecstatic to be starting a new life with the love of my life.

I had gleefully shed all my singleton concerns for a ring and the newly minted married status. Gone were the worries about first dates and finding the “right” partner.

I was determined to make the uncertainty and the trial and error of dating a distant memory. Little did I know however that everything would come full circle, and that someday I would be dating again. This time around though, I have a child to consider and I’m a decade older.

Having the experience of being a wife and mother doesn’t necessarily make answering this question any easier. I still get butterflies when going out with someone for the first time and if all goes well, I still agonize about whether or not I should kiss them.

Perhaps age helps a little in this case, because I have important responsibilities that act as an “emergency brake” that prohibit me from rushing into anything tempestuously. In my twenties I would have thrown caution to the wind to bestow first date kisses more often than not.

But that was ten years ago.

Nowadays, I’ve developed a list of criteria that help me navigate these vague first date waters.

Kissing Criteria

First and foremost I ask myself, do I want to see this person again?

Is there a physical and mental chemistry? I’ve had relationships where there was lots of mutual ‘brain’ admiration but very little physical chemistry, and I’ve had boyfriends where the exact opposite was true. However, neither extreme worked in the long run.

Everyone says it, but there’s truth to the statement – we need balance. Most times though, we don’t figure this out until we’re several dates into the relationship.

Wait and see is also a good rule of thumb when dating.

If you go into the evening knowing that it will take several dates to get a bead on how things may work, waiting to kiss them doesn’t seem like such a hardship. Think quality over quantity when kissing.

Is the person particularly conservative in appearance and manner?

If you’re looking for someone with more traditional or conservative values, kissing on the first date may not be a consideration at all. It’s possible to communicate your admiration and respect with a touch of the hand and open body language. And saying the words that you want to see them again is the clearest way to communicate your intentions.

Your Date Has Walked You To The Door…

So the moment has arrived and your date has walked you to your door. You want to kiss him, because he’s handsome, sexy, and intelligent.

A sweet kiss on the cheek may work just fine, or a squeeze of his hand. Maybe you surprise him and kiss him first.

Regardless of what you choose to do, remember that your restraint now will pay off later when you go on your next date.

Amy L Overley is an author of erotica and guest blogs about the trials and tribulations of dating as a thirty-something. If you’re done with dating though, don’t forget the favor boxes!

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