Results tagged “Newspapers” from Blogway Baby

Here are some excerpts from reviews about [title of show]'s Opening Night on Broadway!!!

From an article in the New York Times:

As a performer, Mr. Bell has a cuddly, golly-gee manner that is endearing. In contrast Mr. Bowen takes a more businesslike approach, which includes an obsessive need to correct his friend’s every grammatical lapse. Ms. Blackwell’s idiosyncratic humor is a distinct asset. Learning that the authors have earned a lot of attention from an Internet video promoting the show, she cracks, “I’m gonna go onYouTube and announce that I want a golden pony.”

The cheery Ms. Blickenstaff is the strongest singer in the cast, and the only one to have appeared on Broadway previously, mostly as an understudy. If “[title of show]” has a purpose larger than mere diversion, it is to expose the obstacles — internal and external — that artists on the fringes of the business claw past every day to keep their aim true and their egos from imploding. Ms. Blackwell keeps having to remind her friends that she can’t be hanging out brainstorming or rehearsing all day because she actually has to earn a living as an office manager. Later she leads a funny, pointed song, “Die Vampire, Die!,” about the specter of self-doubt that visits all struggling artists in the wee hours — and the not so wee ones, too.

From an article on Newsday.com:

Created and performed by two self-described "nobodies in New York," the first entry of the new season is a clever and often adorable little invention about writing a musical about two nobodies writing a musical while performing the musical. Got that?

The title is what composer Jeff Bowen and author Hunter Bell - both show-biz obsessives - called this meta-project while filling out the application form for the New York Musical Theatre Festival in 2004. The men and their two self-described "secondary characters" - Heidi Blickenstaff and Susan Blackwell - were a hit at the festival and Off-Broadway at the Vineyard Theatre in 2006.

Their inside-baseball humor, their sardonic attitude and their Cinderella story arrive at the creators' mainstream fantasy fulfillment with a passionate fan base, nurtured on the Internet by a come-on-along YouTube series about the show.

Everyone in Michael Berresse's production is quick and charming. The setup - four mismatched chairs, street clothes and a grimy rehearsal room - has a prepossessing anti-spectacle ordinariness. The show-tune pastiche - think Laura Nyro as interpreted by William Finn - is accompanied by the amusing Larry Pressgrove on a lone keyboard.

From an article in the Daily News:

The production's greatest asset remains its score. Bowen's melodies and harmonies are gems, and his bright lyrics offer insight into everything from self-doubt ("Die, Vampire, Die!") and friendship ("What Kind of Girl Is She?") to integrity ("Nine People's Favorite Thing").

The performers are great fun to hang out with for 90 minutes and as idiosyncratic as the title — especially the irresistibly offbeat Blackwell. Blickenstaff has girl-next-door charm, and her gorgeous voice soars on the soulful show-stopper "A Way Back to Then."

Michael Berresse's stage and dance experience shows in his vibrant direction and choreography, which puts imaginative spin on each number.

Way to go [title of show]! Check out the opening night greeting that In the Heights sent to [title of show] here -- which is extremely similar to the one [tos] sent In the Heights here.

According to this article in Playbill:

The musical adaptation of The Color Purple is winding up a summer workshop with its star La Chanze before its upcoming Broadway run this season.

Production spokespersons previously confirmed (May 3) to Playbill.com what a casting notice revealed -- a June 13-July 12 workshop was being held in New York City with a projected production on Broadway this fall.

The new musical based on the well known Alice Walker novel (which inspired the better-known film) made its world premiere at Atlanta's Alliance Theatre in fall 2004 and is readying its New York debut. With a number of theatres now becoming available, an announcement regarding dates is expected shortly.

The story of "The Color Purple" centers on Celie, a woman who endures insurmountable hardships within her own family and struggles to find her identity and love. The production warns that it "contains adult situations."

Wow. Adult situations...I wonder if that means there will be a scene about
Celie going to the airport only to find her flight has been cancelled and she has to wait hours in line to re-book and then finds out she won't be able to fly home for two days 'cuz everything is booked. That's the situation this adult found herself in at La Guardia tonight!

Also, I can just imagine the Variety headlines:

If The Color Purple loses money: "The Color Purple is in the Red!"
If The Color Purple makes money: "The Color Purple is in the Black!"

OK, this is my last Plane Crazy post for a while...promise.

Finally, I can stop blowing my own horn. In today's Toronto Star (New Link, New York by Richard Ouzounian, Toronto Star May 25, 2005) Richard Ouzounian talks aboutPlane Crazy and the New York Musical Theatre Festival. Front page of the Arts & Entertainment section, no less! I must say, it is very, very cool to see your name in print (especially when it's for something good!).

Here's a bit of the article:

Two musicals with Toronto clout behind them have been selected for the "New Links" program of the prestigious New York Musical Theatre Festival, taking place in Manhattan next September. Plane Crazy is a musical by Toronto-based Suzy Conn that will be presented by independent producer Michael (Game Show) Rubinoff. The author describes it as "a fun, upbeat musical about feminism set against the backdrop of glamour and innocent sex appeal of the swinging '60s jet age. A time when Stews Were Sexy and the World Was Sexist.

The New York Musical Theatre Festival is the largest musical theatre event in North American, with 141 events across 26 venues, 46 concerts, 332 performances, 7 seminars, 39 movies, and almost 1,000 performers and musicians.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!

They're calling it the Canadian MUSIC Hall of Fame.

Not the Canadian ROCK AND ROLL Hall of Fame or the Canadian COUNTRY Music Hall of Fame. And according to an article in today'sToronto Star ("The Envelope, Please: T.O. Wins Music Shrine" by Jordan Heath-Rawlings, Toronto Star Tuesday May 17, 2005) it's scheduled to open in June 2007 in a brand new $38MM building at Yonge and Dundas.

Plans for the physical hall include a three-foot main area, featuring interactive exhibits, administration offices on the top floor and two stores, some featuring the "Oh What A Feeling" brand used to market popular compilations of Canadian music.

The Canadian Music Hall of Fame started inducting artists in 1978 but it existed only as photographs on a wall at the academy's headquarters. Currently it's housed online at the Juno Award site.

So why no mention in the article of any planned Musical Theater exhibits?

After all, the article does say that Bobby Gimby's trumpet (he wrote the 1967 centennial song Ca-na-da) will be there and Glenn Gould's peaked cap, scarf and finger gloves will be there. So it sounds like it will profile more than just that crazy rock and roll that the kids love so much!

I'm willing to grant that the article may not be completely thorough as to the detailed plans, but I have a sinking feeling that musical theater (writers, producers, performers) will be completely overlooked. For crying out loud, we don't even have a category at the Junos, unlike theGrammys...

What about Brent Carver who won a Tony for The Kiss of the Spider Woman? Or Louise Pitrewho started this whole Mamma Mia! phenomenon in Toronto? Or Leslie Arden? Or Garth Drabinsky? Or Anne of Green Gables? Billy Bishop Goes To War? Or Galt MacDermot who wrote the music for Hair? Or Plane Crazy?

If you visit Jim Bett's Web site you'll see that Canadian Musical Theater is alive and well! Would it kill them to devote just a teensy weensy corner to it?

The article goes on to say:

I think if we had a different location that wasn't quite as sexy as Yonge and Dundas, it might be more of a challenge.

Now I have many words to describe the corner of Yonge and Dundas but "sexy" isn't one of them...

"The Car's the Star" said the New York Postcritic Clive Barnes, but it looks like opening night for Chitty was a great "ride". This is one musical that I'll have to see, just for the fun of it. And isn't that the point of Broadway?

By the way...MUCHO IMPROVO Web site...thanks for getting rid of all the crazy Flash graphics!

Here's a nice article from Playbill, with some amazingly coincidental Anthony Newleyreferences given this week's earlier post inBlogway Baby on Anthony Newley...

Three guesses what Dilly's favorite moment in the show is. Still, she hesitated. "Would it be cliche to say 'When we fly?' My second most favorite is singing 'Truly Scrumptious' with the children. It is such a remarkable experience to sing the Sherman songs. In this very jaded world, it's a very rare opportunity. They have such guileless innocence."

Esparza agreed. "Something happened with the show a few weeks ago where we suddenly found, as actors, this innocence -- the idea that it's wonderful and we're discovering it for the first time. This has changed the quality of the show completely." Chitty is more relentlessly G-rated that Esparza's usual run of shows, but he jumped in with both feet and generated a genuine sense of fun. "It's especially necessary," he insisted. "If I'm not having a good time, then you would be bored out of your mind." The other ace up his sleeve is a likeness, visually and vocally, of the late Anthony Newley -- a smart little fillip since, if Van Dyke had not done the movie, Newley would have been the logical second choice. Esparza holds the position that any similarity is unintentional and in the eye and ear of the beholder.

"People keep saying I remind them of him. I was offered Stop the World and Roar of the Greasepaint to do in rep as an idea once, and I think I'd like to try it, but those are big shoes to fill. I have never actually seen him do anything, but I will say that there was a gesture I did in rehearsal and Gillian [Lynne, the choreographer] said, 'Tony, don't do that.' Then she stopped, and she said, 'I can't believe it. I just called you Tony.' I said, 'So let's leave it in.' So, from someone who never saw Anthony Newley, there's an Anthony Newley tribute in the show."

The classy company he keeps on stage, Esparza contended, is another way of taking the curse off the show's sweetness and light, hopefully providing a view beyond that. "First of all, working with Phil Bosco is an absolute honor. I've admired him for years and years. and Erin's a thrill. We have great chemistry together, and it's been lovely to work with her. For all of us to do these kinds of parts is part of the fun of taking it on in the first place. I saw Robbie play Prior in Angels in America, and the first Broadway musical I ever saw was Into the Woods [with Chip Zien] so it's just amazing to be on stage with these guys every night. I think they were very smart to try to take good care of the show because the strike against it is that people will perceive it as a children's show and nothing else, and they brought in a cast that had such quality that maybe regular theatregoers will not be turned off and they won't miss the extraordinary spectacle that it has. It has a lot of good heart, and it's a real throwback to an old-fashioned wonderful kind of writing that the Sherman brothers perfected in the films and what Broadway used to do extraordinarily well. And I think there's room for that. I really do. I think we should have all kinds of shows on Broadway, and I think there's room for this kind of spectacle."

This Blue Man Group vs four Toronto theatrical unions feud is like bad case of genital herpes -- it just won't go away. Not that I'd know anything about genital herpes...it's just what I've read...

Another article in The Globe And Mail on Saturday April 16, 2005 ("Tangled Up In Blue" by James Adams) describes the participation and ticket buying boycotts of various Toronto unions and their affiliates (and U.S. Actors' Equity!) against the Blue Man Group, which is opening in June in our fair-ish city.

I can't say I was that excited about seeing Blue Man Group in the first place. After seeing the ads, watching excerpts on late night talk shows and hearing a friend of mine who saw it in New York describe the show in detail, I had no great desire to see it. Just not my cup of tea, that's all.

Blue Man Group has started its advertising campaign. The unions are lighting their torches. So which way is this thing gonna go? Will the union bring the Blue Meanies to their Blue Knees? Or will Torontonians, so desperate for some real blue theater (tired of just Baby Blue CityTV!), cross the picket-ticket line?

Will our mayor David Miller be able to resist the free opening night tickets and VIP limo service? Stay tuned.

I read an interesting article in The New York Times Arts and Leisure section last Sunday ("Spamalot Discovers The Straight White Way" by Jesse McKinley, Sunday April 10, 2005) about how Spamalot is bringing a new group of consumers to Broadway -- the "kinds of teenagers and 20-somethings who find jokes about fish, flatulence and the French absolutely sidesplitting and who normally wouldn't be headed to the theater unless dragged by a girlfriend, school trip, or court order."

Mike Nichols, Spamalot's director, is quoted as saying "They are what the movie preview experts call young males under 35...and we have them."

The article talks about how there are finally longer lines for the men's washroom than at the women's washroom. It goes on to say that groups of men without wives or girlfriends are going out for night of theater at the Shubert in New York. And industry officials say they ae impressed by the show's ability to draw men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.

First of all, I think anything that gets anyone to go to live theater for any reason is a good thing. So way to go Spamalot!

But this isn't the first time we've heard about how men generally stay away from Broadway shows, especially musicals.

Is this whole "real men don't go to Broadway" thing a recent phenomenon? Wasn't there a time when men went to see shows, be it play or musical? And weren't those shows more than just people covered in blue paint banging on garbage pail lids?

Weren't men just as in awe with Marlon Brando in Streetcar, or just as stirred at the opening of a newArthur Miller or Eugene O'Neill play, or perhaps just as inspired by Oklahoma! (before they went off to fight), as women were?

But why did these guys in this article seem to take pride in the fact that they have never seen anything on Broadway before this? There have always been a myriad of sexual preferences represented in the theater. Why is it such a problem for men now to go? And why doesn't it stop them from going to the movies or rock concerts, which as we well know also represent that same wide spectrum of sexual preferences! Why are they boycotting Broadway? Did they use to stay away in droves or is this a recent thing?

I mean, for crying out loud they all chant Queen songs at sports games...either "We Are The Champions" of "We Will Rock You".

Browsing through the same paper I also noticed an article in the Lifestyle section about what you call it when two straight male friends have dinner together. ("The Man Date", Sunday Styles, Sunday April 10,2005). Apparently there are rules. Meeting for dinner is OK. Brunch is not. A walk is fine -- as long as one guy carries a ball. Wine by the glass is fine. Sharing a bottle is not.

Sharing a bottle of wine? Is this for real? Are you kidding?

How awful to have to be so aware of what's acceptable and not acceptable when planning some time with a friend. Again I'll ask the question -- has it always been like this? Or have we Neanderthal-ized these poor guys into such rigid roles? So guys, loosen up. Call up a male friend and go kill a bottle of wine at a cafe and then walk over to the theater and buy a couple of tickets to The Producers, and learn about how real men bond...

I was in Chicago this past weekend and saw The Story at theGoodman Theatre (I just couldn't work up enough enthusiasm to see Les Mis again...).

It is a play by Tracey Scott Wilson and directed by Chuck Smith. As usual, the theater was packed and the crowd was dressed up. I've noticed that New York audiences talk during theater and Chicago audiences chew gum...and Toronto audiences stay home. But I digress...

I enjoyed the play -- it was an OK story (inspired by an article the playwright read about Janet Cooke, the Washington Post reporter who lied about a story).

The play was about a reporter who has faked her resume and in her blind ambition to get ahead, ends up fingering an innocent girl in a murder case. But I really enjoyed how it moved along and the staging techniques used. The central character would have two conversations at once with two different people, the second conversation commenting on the first, and taking place at a later time. It wasn't at all confusing the way it was written. Apparently she was inspired by Tony Kushner's Angels in America where four characters are in two different scenes and their dialogue is overlapping and the meaning of the dialogue is overlapping. It made me want to use that technique in a musical.

Next month I see Floyd and Clea under the Western Sky which is having its world premiere at the Goodman. Stay tuned.

Stephen Sondheim turns 75 on Tuesday, and Broadway is rolling out the mat to celebrate a lifetime of accomplishment. There is a great article in today's Toronto Star by Richard Ouzanian (The Two Sides of Stephen, Sunday, March 20, 2005) which does an excellent job of chronicling Sondheim's life and achievements. My favorite Sondheim quote:

The rest of the 1960s were a fairly desolate time for Sondheim. His next show, Anyone Can Whistle (1964), was a quick flop, to be followed by Do I Hear A Waltz? (1965), a collaboration with Richard Rodgers, the former partner of his mentor, Oscar Hammerstein.

The relationship between the two chilled rapidly after Sondheim told one journalist, "Oscar was a man of infinite soul and limited talent; Dick is a man of infinite talent and limited soul."

Man, that Stephen can really dish. Here's the whole article, which is hidden by a silly login system by The Star:

"You're always sorry, you're always grateful."

That description of marriage is more than just a lyric from Stephen Sondheim's 1970 musical, Company. It also encapsulates the philosophy of the man who turns 75 on Tuesday.

For 50 years, Sondheim has transformed a craft into an art, transforming what he called "the elegant puzzle" of songwriting into something capable of expressing profound thought and disturbing emotion.

In gratitude, the theatrical world is honouring him this spring with almost non-stop concerts, tributes, productions and recordings, including Sondheim musicals at the Stratford and Shaw festivals.

"Never judge a book by its cover/The thing that counts is what's inside," wrote Sondheim in Follies (1971), and that could well serve as a caveat for anyone attempting to examine his life's work.

The tunes may often be jaunty, fulfilling the need for artificial exaltation that musicals are supposed to provide, but the lyrics that ride on those melodies are drenched in melancholy, anger and regret.

In Sondheim's universe, the incurably romantic optimist is constantly being sacrificed on the altar of grim pessimism.

Sondheim has been given all the awards -- Tony, Oscar, Pulitzer -- but his greatest claim to fame may very well be that he is the first existentialist in the history of musical comedy, sharing his awareness that, in affairs of the heart, we are free to choose, but that freedom is also a curse.

So who is this man?

Those not blissfully cursed with a passion for show tunes probably know him best for his biggest single hit song, "Send In The Clowns," or for his lyrics to West Side Story, his first professionally produced work.

But there are nearly 20 other shows to his credit, whose themes include American imperialism (Pacific Overtures), cannibalism (Sweeney Todd), obsessive love (Passion) and political mayhem (Assassins).

His musicals have been set in exotic locales -- Japan, Sweden, Italy -- yet they often come back to America, more specifically to the city that nurtured and consumed him at the same time.

Stephen Joshua Sondheim was born on the Upper West Side of Manhattan on March 22, 1930. His father, Herbert, was a successful dress manufacturer; his mother, Janet Fox, was known by all and sundry as "Foxy."

His parents went through an ugly divorce when he was 10 (he refers in a lyric to one of the joys of marriage as "the children you destroy together"). Young Stephen found himself in the custody of Foxy, a woman so monumentally horrible -- manipulative, grandiose and capable of a wide range of emotional abuse -- that he fought with her all of his life and finally refused to go to her funeral.

It's no wonder Sondheim sought a surrogate family. He found one that would change his life.

Foxy's summer home was in Bucks County, Pa., a popular haunt of New York theatre folk. Her nearest neighbour was Oscar Hammerstein II.

The famous lyricist behind ShowBoat and Oklahoma! befriended the young man and invited him to work as an assistant on some of his shows, a classy laboratory where Sondheim could learn the art of musical theatre first-hand.

After earning a degree in music at Williams College and studying composition under Milton Babbitt, Sondheim made his first foray into the professional theatre with a musical called Saturday Night.

The unexpected demise of its producer, Lemuel Ayers, caused the show to be cancelled but, even at the age of 24, the Sondheim style was already formed. Lurking inside the perky title song is a reflection of unexpected bleakness: "Alive and alone on a Saturday night is dead."

Sondheim was subsequently asked to join heavyweights Leonard Bernstein, Jerome Robbins and Arthur Laurents on West Side Story, which opened in 1957 to enormous acclaim and launched his career on a high note.

But the lush romanticism of the work, undiluted by any mitigating irony, is alien to the rest of Sondheim's creations, a fact he willingly admits.

He has often denigrated his lyric from "I Feel Pretty," where Maria sings "It's alarming how charming I feel," by saying, "She's supposed to be an uneducated Puerto Rican girl, but you know she would not have been unwelcome in Noel Coward's living room."

His next project was another lyrics-only assignment that drew Sondheim in because of the richness of the material.

Gypsy (1959) was ostensibly the saga of how burlesque queen Gypsy Rose Lee rose to prominence. In reality, it was a chilling portrait of the destructive powers of mother love as exemplified by the larger-than-life Rose -- a character who bore more than a passing resemblance to Sondheim's mother.

When Rose screeches, "Someone tell me, when is it my turn?/Don't I get a dream for myself?" one can just imagine how many times Sondheim heard those same words growing up.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1962) was Sondheim's first solo show and a great big hit. Even though it is meant to be a rollicking farce, he still finds a way to undercut the merriment, as when he warns us, "Tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight."

The rest of the 1960s were a fairly desolate time for Sondheim. His next show, Anyone Can Whistle (1964), was a quick flop, to be followed by Do I Hear A Waltz? (1965), a collaboration with Richard Rodgers, the former partner of his mentor, Oscar Hammerstein.

The relationship between the two chilled rapidly after Sondheim told one journalist, "Oscar was a man of infinite soul and limited talent; Dick is a man of infinite talent and limited soul."

Starting in 1970, Sondheim's work broke through to a new level with the series of musicals he did in collaboration with director Harold Prince.

Company (1970) dissected modern marriage with a surgeon's coolly elegant skill, whileFollies (1971) explored the success ethic of our society, reaching the conclusion that, "Sometimes when the wrappings fall/There's nothing underneath at all."

A Little Night Music (1973) set a series of waltzes to Ingmar Bergman's Smiles of a Summer Night in a style that Sondheim called "whipped cream with knives," whilePacific Overtures (1976) revisited Commodore Perry's conquest of Japan in supple, haiku-flavoured lyrics that summed up Sondheim's fatalistic attitude to life with the solitary phrase, "There is no other way."

Sweeney Todd (1979) remains his masterpiece, a bleakly funny tale of a revenge-maddened barber who slits the throats of his victims and then has his equally insane mistress turn their corpses into human pies.

"The history of the world, my sweet," he tells her, "is who gets eaten and who gets to eat."

The Sondheim-Prince partnership ground to a halt with the 1981 failure Merrily We Roll Along, which dealt with what happens when ideals get betrayed. It features a devastating insight into Sondheim's worldview:

"It's called flowers wilt

It's called apples rot,

It's called thieves get rich and saints get shot,

It's called God don't answer prayers a lot."

He next embarked on a trio of musicals with author James Lapine: Sunday in the Park with George (1984), Into the Woods (1987) and Passion (1994).

Although these later works are seemingly marked by more of a willingness to make an emotional connection, there is always something that clouds the horizon -- the hint of disillusionment that Sondheim splashes into potential happiness the way some people add a drop of bitters to their martinis.

Perhaps the apotheosis of these contradictory feelings occurs in Into The Woods:

"Sometimes people leave you

Halfway through the wood.

Others may deceive you

You decide what's good.

You decide alone,

But no one is alone."

Sondheim's willingness to engage the human heart at its most complex level may be the reason he has never enjoyed the enormous popular success of an Andrew Lloyd Webber, but, by the same token, it's the reason his work deserves our attention and respect.

His most recent lyric, for a revival of The Frogs last summer, demonstrates that age has not softened his approach. In a song where Dionysus recalls his dead wife, Ariadne, he sums up his feelings with an archetypal Sondheim line:

"And it fills me with joy/And it fills me with pain."

After 75 years on Earth, Stephen Sondheim is still sorry and still grateful.

Spamalot officially opened on Broadway on Thursday, March 17, and it's being touted as the next The Producers -- certainly one of the most exciting openings on Broadway in a few years.

It was reviewed in the New York Times by Ben Brantley, and he gave it apretty good review, and with much of which I would agree. Although I saw the show a couple of months ago in Chicago, I think that he summed up my reaction to the show as:

Do these disparate elements hang together in any truly compelling way? Not really. That "Spamalot" is the best new musical to open on Broadway this season is inarguable, but that's not saying much. The show is amusing, agreeable, forgettable -- a better-than-usual embodiment of the musical for theatergoers who just want to be reminded now and then of a few of their favorite things.

Wow, this is going to be fun. We have almost an entire year of buzz to build up to the opening night of the $27MM Lord of the Rings Musical.

It's kinda cool that the global debut will be here in Toronto, but I'm a little surprised that everyone keeps saying that it's the first major show to debut outside of the West End or Broadway. What about Kiss of the Spider Woman? Started in Toronto...directed by Hal Prince...won 6Tonys on Broadway (1993: Musical, Book, Score, Costumes, Actor: Brent Carver; Actress: Chita Rivera; Featured Actor: Anthony Crivello). What about Ragtime? Started in Toronto...won a 4 Tonys on Broadway (1998: Book, Score, Orchestration, Featured Actress: Audra McDonald). Gosh, evenShowboat was revived in Toronto, and then went on to a triumphant North American tour and 5 Tonys (1995: Revival, Costumes, Director: Harold Prince; Choreographer: Susan Stroman; Featured Actress: Gretha Boston). Gee...what did all those shows have in common? Oh yeah...

Still, it seems really unfair to take everything from someone, even the accomplishments of his shows...

Anyway, in today's The Globe And Mail James Adams Weekend Diary (sadly hidden behind a "premium content" wall...and no New York Times-style blog appropriate Link Generator...sorry) was a bit of an homage from my post from Thursday. James said:

"It's been said that the Rings will owe less to the conventions of musical theatre and more to the sweep of opera and epic movies, while drawing on "ethnic traditions." I think this could be a mistake. If I want opera, I can walk the few blocks from the Princess of Wales to the new home of the Canadian Opera Company to see the completeRing cycle by Wagner. If I want ethnic, I can catch the China National Acrobatic Troupe at the nearby Hummingbird Centre. And if I have a hankering for cinematic scope, well, there are the DVDs of Alexander and Troy, and the three Rings movies for that matter.

In short, The Lord of the Rings musical should not try to exempt itself from one of the fundaments of the hit musical, which is to leave the audience with a snappily titled, hummable melody or two reverberating in their skulls as they exit the theatre. To spark this kind of thinking, I hereby offer the show's creators these (possible) song titles:

Give My Regards To Mordor;
Hobbitually Devoted To You;
Careful With That Axe, Grimli;
Ring-toss Wizard;
I've Grown Accustomed To Those Orcs;
Let Elvish Rule;
Gandalf, I'm Only Dancing."

I'm still partial to my "Second Breakfast At Tiffany's" and from Brighterbuc:

You're getting to be a Hobbit with me?
'Swonderful, 'smarvelous, 'smeagle should be with me...
It's Gandalf Night for Singing
One (Ring that's a sensation)
Ma, he's making Eye at me!

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit).

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.